Thursday, December 31, 2009


Happy New Year

I normally get emotional this time of the year.  I am a constant crier at midnight.  I don't know why.  Just always have been.  This year, however, I am going to smile from ear to fricken-fracken ear.  I will be heading to Tallulahland in a bit and we will be counting down the new year with her.  I call it "Club Miller" aka Millers Children's Hospital.  Yup,  no sad emotions.  Only emotions of strength, courage, patience, health, wisdom and most importantly love.  Tallulah has opened my heart like a sardine can and I am grateful. Happy new years to you all.  Tallulah and her family thank you for your support.  I would like to personally thank my partner and very best friend in the whole wide wild world Mark aka my baby Daddy.  Together we have made all of our dreams come true...with Tallulah the world in our oyster!  Thank you for being my Robin for all of these years and I hope I can make you as proud of me as I am of you!!!   143!    

Off to T-Land!    R...Ts Papi

Tuesday, December 29, 2009

My beautiful princess...

My beautiful princess is doing fantastic.  She is holding steady and is over 2 lbs now.  She is very active and quite expressive.  I wonder where she gets that from???  Tallulah will get to meet her other Grandmother on Thursday.  Her Grandma Jan will be here visiting from Georgia.  She has been trying to come out since her Sweet T was born,  but we talked her into coming on her scheduled vacation for new years.  I am so excited to introduce Tallulah to her Grandma.  Actually, daddy will be introducing them since only 2 of us are allowed in the NICU at a time.  I cant wait to introduce her to the rest of the family as well.  All in time.  Today T-Star is 43 days old.  I cant believe it has been 43 days since she arrived.  Somethings are getting much easier as time goes by.  Some things are getting harder as time goes by.  As much as I try to convince myself that I was totally happy with my old life,  I realize that I wasn't.  My little bit of time that I spend with my T are the happiest and most satisfying part of my day.  As much as I miss certain little things, Tallulah far surpasses the missing.  She is so beautiful.  I know I say it over and over....but she is!  I just want her healthy and strong.  Healthy and Strong.  Healthy and Strong.  Those are the words for the new year...Healthy and Strong.  I guess I should lead by example...huh.....R

Sunday, December 27, 2009


Ok.  Im a nerd.  I just realized you guys are saying hi on the slide thing above and Im soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo excited.  We feel so loved from all over the world!!!  WOW!  Wait until I tell Tallulah this tomorrow morning....R

Great Day for Miss Rue

Hi guys.  Tallulah Rue had a fantastic day again today.  We spent some time there tonight visiting with her.  I got to hold her for weighing again.  OOOps.  I always do it wrong the first time...LOL.  She is more alert and growing every day.  I cant wait to see what she is going to end up looking like.  Of course when she comes home I am going to wonder what shes going to look like when shes walking.  Then im going to wonder what she looks like when shes......this can go on for ever.  I am trying to just enjoy every single minute I spend with her!  Its starting to become part of my everyday conversation when I talk about "my daughter".  The more and more I say it out loud, the more and more excited I get.  We have been in such survival mode that now its feeling exciting.  I hope I never take the words "my daughter" for granted.  I hope I stay as excited to hear her name as I do right now.  I hope I get to look into her beautiful eyes for the rest of my life.  I will be finishing her closet tomorrow and will finally be organized with all of her gifts.  She really has been blessed.  I dont think this lil girl is going to need clothes for a bit...LOL.  I know, I know...a girl can never have too many clothes. 
Okay.  Goodnight everyone.  Tallulah I will meet you at our ceramics class in my dreams...R...Tallulah's Papi

Friday, December 25, 2009

Merry Christmas T-Star....

Tallulah is having a fantasic christmas.  We spent the eve with her and Team Tallulah captain Dominique.  I got the very best christmas present ever this year as I got to kiss the foot of my baby at midnight on christmas.  It doesnt get any better for me.  I have always longed and prayed for a baby.  I wanted a girl, but would be happy with a boy as well.  Low and behold my lil angel decides to take me and her daddy by storm.  She definitely made a grand entrance.  You want to talk about dramatic....huh.   As if I didnt alrealy love story telling with fun events in my life,  Tallulah gives me the best story yet.  I thank you all for being part of our story.  Your thoughts and prayers have given us a confidence that money couldnt pay for.  Mark and I truely appreciate all of the support coming in from the most unexpected places.   Its funny how you find comfort from those who are willing to catch and nurture you when life throws you a very scary curve.  This has been the most amazing roller coaster ride of our lives......and we love nothing more than a fun, scary, throw your hands up, dont know when its going to end, kind of rollercoaster ride. 

Merry Christmas from the bottom of our hearts...Papi, Daddy, Tallulah.....Farrah, Soho & Apple

Merry Merry Christmas....

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Wednesday, December 23, 2009

December 22nd....Jet Day

Tallulah had a very important day.  Team Tallulah decided that she was strong enough to be removed from her Jet respirator and is now on conventional respirator.  YAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAY  My baby is growing!!!!!  She was extremely feisty tonight.  I was trying to post a video tonight, however, being the perfectionist that I am I couldn't finish the project tonight.  When I do finish it though, its going to be a piece of art starring the next big thing....Miss Tallulah herself.  She is now being fed every hour on the hour and that makes my heart smile.  Her hair looks longer and her strength is really improving.  Ok.  Thats all for tonight....R...Tallulah's Papi

Monday, December 21, 2009

My pretty angel...

My baby looked fan-to-the-astic tonite.  She was in a spirited mood because the nureses were doing some routine stuff to her.  She is sooooooo funny and picky.  I love her forehead when shes mad.  I just want to eat her up.  She is getting so many gifts from kind friends and clients.  She just received the baby einstein book set from my friend Wendy.  I m really excited about that one.  Tallulah is going to have everything she wants once she gets home.  We are trying to figure out how do put on a non-traditional baby shower.  Now that she beat her own party, we are probably going to just scale things down and make it a fun get together.  Date to be set, but probably the same day we had planned from the beginning, Jan 16.  I am excited to start a wishlist and registry for her now that i know her and have seen her and know that she is going to have a nursery in owls, kangaroos and bunnies. 
Ok.  Good nite y'all.  Smile for Tallulah because she feels it.  R...Tallulahs Papi

Santa Visited NICU

Ok.  Im back.  I have been out of commission for a few days with this crazy cold, flu or whatever it is.  This one hit me really hard.  probably because we have been running around a lot.  Tallulah is doing wonderful.  She had her picture taken with Santa yesterday.  The NICU had santa come through and I am sooooo excited.  Team Tallulah members Wendy and Dominique went way above and beyond the call of duty and made sure my lil star looked amazing.  Thank you 2 for making this christmas feel real.  Tallulah continues to gain weight and look good.   Here is a pic of T with santa.  I will write more later. 

Take care and thanks for hoping and praying for Tallulah.......keep them coming please....

Sunday, December 20, 2009

The Karate Kid

With Papi still under the weather, I went & saw Tallulah without him tonight. She weighed in at 1pound 11oz. I also think she was auditioning for the new Karate Kid because she was kicking alot & doing some new chopping motion with her hands! Whe the time came for me to change her, I experienced my 1st "being urinated on." Yes, 1st of many!! Upon leaving, she enjoyed her nice milky dinner!!!

Friday, December 18, 2009

Daddy filling in for Papi...

Richie is soooooooooo beat down from working soooooooo hard! We walked into the house tonight & he knocked out right away. Sooooooooooooooo, I am filling in... Tallulah is being her wonderful little self! She got some blood today (thanks again to the donors.) Because of that, she should be looking nice & tan tomorrow!!! Other than that, her nurses & docs have decided that her actions are showing its time for her to get off that vent. Soooooooooooo, hopefully tomorrow morning she will be letting it go... keep your fingers crossed, your prayers sent, your positive energy flowing, & your magical powers working! We know they will make the right choices because, welllllll, she is in great hands!

For more info on LBMH check out their reviews right here!!!

G'nite LBMH, Readers, Friends, Papi, & Little T!!!

xoxoxo  Daddy

Talluah Rue...I love you

Tallulah Rue is having a fantastic day.  She is looking smashing and quite active.  Im going to bed...Goodnite.

Thursday, December 17, 2009

One month down....millions to go

Today is a very thankful day for us.  Tallulah Rue is one month old today.  We are very blessed to have such a perfect angel in our lives.  She is so young and so small but so loved.  We look forward to sharing many many many many more birthdays with our Sweet T.  We spent some time with the birtday girl today and she was in good spirits.  She was very responsive and photographed beautifully.  She had just had an X-ray before we got there, so she wasnt in the best mood.  I kind of like it when shes angry.  Her forehead wrinkles up and turns red.  She balls up her fists and puts her arms over her head and she squirms.  So darn adorable.  Once she calmed down our visit was pure bliss.  She is holding on to her weight and gaining a lil more.  Getting stronger and stronger.
One of our friends Karly brought her beautiful 2 month old daughter Madeline to the salon today.  What a beautiful angel.  Madeline was also born early due to pre eclampsya.  Not as early as T-Rue, but early.  She is so pretty and dainty.  Karli and Maddy also brought T-Rue gifts.  Many gifts.   The cutest lil premie clothes you've ever seen.   I cant wait to start dressing my lil Star!  Thank you so much Santiago family for thinking about our Tallulah.
Okay.  Goodnite Tallulah,  and lots of energy and wisdom to Team Tallulah watching over her tonite!   R

Wednesday, December 16, 2009

Happy 1 month Birthday Tallulah Rue

Happy Birthday to you,
Happy Birthday to you,
Happy Birthday Tallulah Rue,
Happy Birthday to you!

I waited to post this until midnight because Tallulah was born on November 16....30 days ago.  She has changed soooooo much in one month that it is astonishing.  I am working on my first slide show of her of the first chapter or her life. 

We got two visits in again today.   YAYAYAYAAYYAY.  As tired as I am I got to be with my daughter twice today and that makes it a most excellent day!!!!   We took a lot of video of her because she was looking a little extra pretty today.  Her hair seems to be looking lighter and lighter.  So very pretty.   She was very active today.  Dominique changed her entire bedding today and we realized that someone had made the cutest card in Sweet T.'s cubie.  It is a picture of her and beside it is says Tallulah Rue and her birthdate and next to that it says "your daddies love you".  Okay.  Let me say that I think it is incredibly kind that someone would make a card so personalized for my lil Star, but then for it to say Your daddies love you...daddies,  just blows me away.  I think its the most considerate thing ever.  It made me get all teary eyed.  I felt so understood and included with all of the other parents.  It was a very sweet thing to do and we thank whoever did it very much.  
Tallulah weighed in today at 1lb 9oz.  Yeah baby.  My lil Chunker is doing her thing.  God is really being good to her and I am not forgetting him. 
My twin brother, Ricky, just moved back to California and cant wait to see T-Rue.  Tallulah is happy to have you back in California Uncle Ricky and cant wait to meet you. 
One of my clients/friends Linda M.  left T one of the cutest baskets in the world.  It has bibs, onesies, blanket, picture frames and a book called 5 minutes goodnite stories.  I love it.  Thank you so much Linda. 
Okay.  Phewww.  I feel like i just went on and on and on......goodnite!  Keep the prayers coming pleeeeez!

Monday, December 14, 2009

Pretty big eyes

I decided to post this picture today instead of typing much because i think it says it all. This is the re-action we get when we visit our Sweet T. She had another good day. We got in 2 visits with her and both were great. Until tomorrow...R
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Sunday, December 13, 2009


Tallulah had a very good day.  My mother went with us today and Tallulah always likes her visits.  My sweet T held on to her finger so tight it was sweet.  I got to change her diaper again tonite, and again tonite there was a poopy in there for me.  YAYAYYAYAYA  Poppy is such a good sign that things are working in proper order.  YAYAYAYAYAY.  She is also really sucking on her thumb and putting her fingers in her mouth.   Oh, did i forget to mention that i got to hold her again today..........twice.     You heard me right,  i got to hold my Sweet-T  for her weighing.  My mom was watching and loving it.  Im a pretty happy camper tonite.  Looking at her remind me of just how strong prayers really are! 


Saturday, December 12, 2009

Its Papi and T again

I got to hold T-Rue

Daddy holding Tallulah

Today was a WOW day...

We were super-busy at the salon today and couldnt take our mid-day visit which made the day really long.  We couldnt wait to get to TallulahLand.  When we got there we were so happy.  She looks really good and really strong.  She was very responsive as usual.  We got there in time for diaper change and temperature check.  The fantastic nurses let me change her.  We found  a lil bit of poo-poo when we opened the diaper, to our surprise.  At this point I couldnt back our from the diaper changer, partly because I REALLY wanted to do it, and partly because the nurse said I had to finish now, as she laughed with Daddy . I was doing ok, front to back and patt it dry, no one likes a u.t.i.  Then all of a sudden, some poo got on my finger.  Now let me say that the size of the entire poo was about the size of a pea. Which is no big deal.  However, when its on my skin, my very sensitive to textures skin, my "I throw up so easy" skin...its a huge deal.  I looked to the side as i was about to gag and there were Daddys big green eyes asking are you gonna be ok.  I took a deep breath and forged ahead with my mission.  A few wipes and folds later and I had won the  war against the diaper.  As if that werent precious enough for one night, the big event was coming.   During  weighing time, the nurses were so kind as to let us hold Tallulah for a few seconds while they clear the scale.  I went first after washing and re washing my hands and sanitizing them.  When they put her into my hands I kind of inhaled.  I have dreamed for this moment for soooooooooo long that I kind of wanted to enjoy it.  I was looking at her hair and her perfect forehead and as i glanced down the bridge of her nose her eyes opened and we stared at eachother eye to eye.  I felt electrified.  I felt like saying "Wonder twin powers....Activate...Form of a Father".   Im a gonner for sure now.  Shes got me wrapped around her tiny pinky finger.  She is amazingly beautiful.  Tiny and perfect in every way.  I held her for too long so we had to do it again.....Oooooops.  ;)   This time Daddy got to hold her.  He was nervous I could see it on his face.  It was a very precious moment for us and i cant thank the girls enough for letting us assist them. 
Mark and I are really opening up to Team Tallulah, and they are opening up to us and it feels really good.  A little pat on the back from a doctor may be routine to him,   but means the world to us.  Sitting there in the nicu is a really serious and fragile enviounment.  I cant be my normal big loud self, but we are getting there.  Its nice to sit and share stories and laugh with the team because its feeling like we get to leave T-Rue with friends....really smart friends......really smart friends with really good technology........really smart friends with access to good technology and good get the point. 
We have the day off tomorrow so we can go spend some time with Tallulah.  Rest and Tallulah are the only things on the menu. 
I will go to sleep tonite with my baby in my hands and in my head and most importantly in my heart!!!!!!!!


Friday, December 11, 2009

Sucking her thumb

This one is going to be short and sweet.  We are very tired and crashing fast tonite.  she is doing well.  She started sucking her thumb tonite.  Its so cute.  She is an angel.  We will post more tomorrow.  R

Thursday, December 10, 2009

She had a great day again

The heavens and powers above have really been kind to our lil T-Star!!!   She is doing really welll and continues to gain her lil weight  daily.  She is almost 1 lb 7 oz now.  Can you believe it.  I decided to post some pics i took today because I thought she looked exceptionally beautiful in tonights lighting.  I have to give a major buck of props to Nurse Wendy for accessorizing Tallulah with her pretty pink bow again.  She wears accessories well doesnt she.  Prayers work, prayers heal, prayers comfort...keep them coming please!!!      R

Pretty Pink Bow is Back

Retro Bow

Sleeping Beauty * starring Tallulah Rue as Beauty

Tallulahs Officially arrived.

This is a picture of Tallulahs mail that arrived yesterday in the mail.  It makes us sooooooooooo happy. 
She is official!!!!!!!

Wednesday, December 9, 2009

Another fantastic day

Tallulah had another great day.  Daddy and I along with my mother went to spend our evening visit with T and she was amazing as usual.  She was very responsive and very adorable.  We leave the hospital so happy its overwhelming.  We also saw her during our mid day visit and had lunch with her since she is being fed breast milk now!!!!!   Its a small amount, like a 5th of a teaspoon every 6 hours, but shes a eatin!


Tuesday, December 8, 2009

My pretty girl

We managed to get in our 2 visits today and work a full day....WHEEEEEEEW! Tallulah looks fantastic as you can see to the right-------------------------------------------------------->
She is getting stronger and stronger everyday! She gained a lil more weight today...YAY.
She is almost at 1 lb 7 oz. I cant wait until she reaches the weight that we can start to hold her. Daddy and I are really going to have to play rocks, papers, scissors at that point to decide whos turn it is.
Until tomorrow.......R
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Monday, December 7, 2009


This little lady is on a roll right now and Im liking it! She is continuing to gain lil bits of weight...which are adding up! She is really responding to us and we LOVE that! Today we got to redecorate her cubie. We put down a pretty pink floral blanket and put her in a pretty pink and white polka dot hat. She looks sooooooooo good. She wanted us to thank everyone reading this for their prayers. She is getting stronger and stronger. Keep those prayers coming in and soon she will be able to thank you all in person!
As soon as i took this picture I knew I was going to post it because i heart everything about it. I went back and forth with the toplessness of the photo though. I love nature but know how SCARY the net Papi gave her a bikini....a one shoulder tiny-kini.....I love my Tallulah Rue!!!!!!!!! R
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Sunday, December 6, 2009

Tallulah has another good day!

We woke up extra early this morning to get enough dog time in the babies before we headed off to our favorite amusement park in the world....TallulahLand.  We got there and saw that she was looking really good and my heart sighed a bit.  She responded really well to us again.  Her eyes looking for us.  Her hands reaching.  Her feet stretching and pointing her toes.  My mom went with us this morning and it was wonderful. 
We were there for a bit before we had to hit the salon for a day of hair before we returned for our night-cap with T.
When we got there for the evening visit she was laying on her stomach.  They are trying give her surgery incision heal a bit so take the pressure off of it.  I have never seen her on her stomach.  I have never really seen the back of her head or her profile.  She is so beautiful and exotic.  I heart her big time.  At 8 it was touch time.  Which means changing her diaper and weighing her.  Also switching her pulse monitor from one foot to another.  While changing her we were all surprised to see a teeeeeny weeeny bit of poopie.  Now I know to most people that wouldnt be a reason to celebrate,  but for Tiny T its time to light firecrackers!!!  Such an excellent sign.  She also gained a lil more weight which is awesome.  All in all it was an excellent day.  2 visits to my love and I am a happy man.  I will get to spend a lot of time with her tomorrow since I am not working on clients tomorrow.  CANT WAIT!  Thanks for prayers and please keep them coming...its working guys, its working!                R

Saturday, December 5, 2009

We just got to spend a couple of hours with our Tallulah and I must report that she is looking fantastic. She responded well to us and was very active. She has gained a little more weight which is very exciting! Her breathing is getting stronger and stronger and her surgery scar is healing well. THANK GOD!!! She looks around the room when we sing to her and its amazing to watch. Shes so little yet it seems like she gets it all. We stop talking to her and wait a minute and she starts to kick her legs and squeeze her fist and start wrinkeling her forehead. I LOVE IT!!! Daddy got to change her and take her temperature while i took pics. Dominique (T-Rue's primary nurse) says that T is almost ready to start getting fed milk. YAYAYAYAY. Then she can start gaining weight and then I can hold her in my arms. CRYING TEARS JUST THINKING ABOUT IT! I am not going to ever let her go once i get to hold her. Mark and I talk about it on the way home from the NICU. We just smile from ear to ear and imagine it. Her hair is starting to lighten up a bit. Her skin is starting to darken up a bit. She has a bronze glow right now. She looks like she just spent a long weekend in Hawaii. Thanks again to our wonderful kind donors blood. This little girl is getting tons of presents already as well. Our friends and clients are being incredible to us. Today she a lot of books for us to read to her. She also got some really cute outfits. She also got a furry bunny coat wrap that is lined in pink silk. So pretty! My lil star is going to look amazing. We are both working tomorrow making up for the days we had to reschedule to be at the hospital with her, but will have a chance to spend a couple of hours with her in the morning. I am already counting down the minutes until I get to see her again. I cant wait for all of you to meet her and see what an amazing presence she has. Until tomorrow....R
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Guess who had a great nite!

Friday, December 4, 2009

Long but great day.

It has been a long and amazing day.  Any day that I can work a full day and still manage to squeeze in not one but two visits to my Tallulah is a great day for me.  She looked really really good today.  Her numbers are stable and she is off of her blood pressure medication.  She has gained another 10 ounces since surgery and Dominique (our primany nurse) told us that it was a good 10 ounces not just liquid.  No wonder she is looking so good.  She responded well to our visit and is in good squeezing fingers spirits.  Thanks again for your support and heres to a good nite for my T-Star! 

Thursday, December 3, 2009

It has been a crazy day.  We left the hospital and Tallulah is looking great.  She is very sedated and still looks pretty and is posing.  Her skin looks real good,  her eyes look good and her numbers seem to be looking real good.  I pray and hope she continues on this "strong woman" road that she is on.  Daddy got to take her temperature tonite.  From here Tiny T is going to thrive! 

I prayed with my mother and Mark all morning in the "family room" in the NICU.  It seemed like it had been forever, actually 4 hours, and there was a knock knock on the door.  I guess my mother and myself had decided to take a nap and Mark was outside in the hall pacing himself into a hole.  It was our amazing surgeon telling me the words that i had been rehearsing in my head for hours.  He said "Tallulah's hair transplant went well,  she looks fantastic!".  We laughed and I knew she was alright.  He told us everything went on schedule and as planned.  WHEEEEEEEW!  I love when doctors can be great at what they do and remain great people too!  I am completely impressed with him and his team.  Im completely impressed with me and my team too.  We did great.  Me Mark and my mother that is.  We kept eachother laughing and positive.  None of us ever went to the ugly place.  Thank goodness.  The room has a couch in it and a tv and internet connection.  The couch pulls out to a bed and a small chair and table.  Its quite cozy.  Its in the NICU and right next to the surgery room.  We drank coffee in there and ate.  We watched all of the videos and photos we of Tallulah.  We also took a nap.  I forgot what we were watching on television, but the next thing i know knock, knock.
After 30 minutes, they let us go in and see her.  She looked as good as she did before she went in.  Im so happy with her!  They only let 2 of us in there at a time so Mark and I went in, then mom and I went in.  We celebrated bedside with her and then went down to the chapel to do some thanking. 
We came home to let the dogs out for a bit and to eat a real meal and then it was off back to Tallulahland. 

I am thankful to have so many people praying and thinking about our lil T-Star!  She is soooooooo lucky and soooooooo loved! 

Thanks!   R


Praise the heavens, praise the heavens, Tiny but Mighty made it through surgery!  The surgeon says all went well and everything looks good!!!!  Praise praise praise the lord!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Wednesday, December 2, 2009

It has been a very interesting day.  Tallulah looks very good and is responding really well.  As with most premature babies, her heart is having a problem.  PDA to be exact.  The doctors are performing surgery on her tomorrow afternoon.  He sat down with me and Mark tonite and explained it all really well.  Its a common procedure done on babies this small.  T-star is on the smaller side, so we do need your prayer.  We will be spending the morning with her until 11 and then they will take her in for the 30 minute procedure.  Well he said it takes them about 30 minutes to prep her and the room and stuff and then 30 minute procedure.  I will be praying and meditating and crotcheting and anything else to keep me in the good place!  I hope all of you can join me in a prayer around that time to that we can get her through this as smoothly as possible!  I will keep you updated though here sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo....Heres to Tallulah!!!!!!

Tuesday, December 1, 2009

Tueday Dec. 1

I got to spend 2 hours in the middle of my work day with my precious angel and then 2 hours at nite after work.  It was the absolute best part of my day.  I find myself having to wait for her to go to sleep for me to leave her.  I CANT leave her when her eyes are open and looking at me.  I JUST CANT!  She had another blood transfusion today (thanks again to my amazing donors).  Her skin looks so pretty after a transfusion.  I was there today for a suctioning.  I noramlly dont like watching them do this to her,  but her numbers stay so good when we are there that we just talk her right though it.  She is very independant and doesnt like to be touched too much,  except from us.  Our nurses tell us that she is really reacting to our visits.  They notice a change when we leave.  I dont know if they just say that to make us feel good about the time we spend there,  but it works!  Tomorrow we are meeting with her Doctor to see what we are looking at for the next week as far as hurdles, milestones and expectations (not from T but from eachother).  I feel like such a grown-up.  I am going to wrap it there tonite because I am really tired today.  I hope and pray that my angel has a SUPER-DUPER-WUPER-FLUPER fantastic nite!!!!!!!!!!!!!  and life!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Monday, November 30, 2009

Tallulahs new hat

A better day

thanks friends. today was a lil better for my star. not completely out of the woods, but better!:sunshine: i feel so bad for the nurses because i obviously reacted bad yesterday because they handled me with gloves on today. My baby is so beautiful! even sedated, she is a wiggler. her blood pressure and insulin are a huge balancing act, but she is trooping ahead, thank in part to all of your prayers! My mother and i visited her today for 4 hours and had a good time. her x rays are coming back promising. her puncture on her lung is healing over on its own which is promising. she has gained some weight as well. she was born at 530 grams and now weighs 610 grams. She is also 14 days old today. happy birthday to my kangaRue! Mark and i stay at the hospital all day, leave to come home and handle things and then run back up there. although its tiring, i wouldnt have it anyother way! I cherish every single second that i am there with her. her little movements, stretches, yawns, stares....i eat them up and stay high on them until the next one. You guys really help me along this road. I find myself telling Tallulah about you guys and all of your thoughts and prayers. the nurses laugh cause i take a list in with me and tell her the screen name and where you are from to tell her. they are amazed that i have people all over this globe praying for her. i tell them that my T.Rue is going to be a huge philanthropist and will have to give lots and lots back to the world for all of the prayers she is receiving. she WILL rock this world! I am really getting to know the nurses that care for her and they are some amazing people. Wendy, Vangie and Dominique are amongst some of the amazing women that care for my Rue all day and nite. I cant thank them enough!!! I hope my T absorbs some of their gentleness! Im sure its not easy to see a big guy singing and crying and praying and laughing all day long next to a tiny fighter.

Today was a good day and tomorrow will be even better!m I am fully committed to Tallulah breaking all hospital records and blowing them away with her recovery! She looks at me and I know she is going to be all right, I just know it in my gut!

Okay. Thats all for now.....Thanks again and may the powers above bless you all for your support! R

Sunday, November 29, 2009

Thank you so much my friends!!! We just got an update from our Tallulahs nite nurse and things are going smooth right now. Earlier this morning one of her lungs punctured. They say its common with premies this small. They have been x-raying her regularly to see if the puncture is going to heal on its own or if they have to go in and fix it. The fear of them having to go in is infection. they suctioned out all of the extra oxygen that was getting to places that it shouldnt and are watching for the puncture to seal. So far so good. They have her heavily sedated so that she doesnt wiggle around and make matters worse. She has an iv in one hand and an insulin drip in the other. A feeding tube in her nostril and her breathing tubes in her mouth. A heart rate/blood pressure monitor on one heel and a heel warmer on the other heel to keep the blood sample wound from healing so that they dont have to prick her to draw blood every hour to test her sugar. It was a lot to see. Partly because we had such a good nite that i think we went in a little too confident and were shocked. I love this little thing so much that i feel helpless. I want to do so much to help her, but loving and praying are all that i can REALLY do. I am going to stay strong for her! I am going to make it through this! Tallulah is going to be home before I know it and im going to be one of those annoying parents that over protects their kid and never stops talking about her. This is the hope that i am living for right now. Thank you for your prayer! R

Let me say more

My T isnt doing so well today. Shes got a lot going on with her under developed lungs and we are in prayer mode right now. I had a semi-breakdown at the hospital and had to go into the family room to unwind and relax. I feel bad for the nurses having to tell us news that we dont want to hear. I know it breaks their hearts to tell us bad things as much as it does to hear it. I am in super duper wuper prayer mode right now. Please join me in praying for the development and strength of my babys lungs. I am so in love with her and i want her healthy and strong. thanks in advance!! R

Needing prayers!!!

I had an overwhelming day at the hospital with my T. Our rollercoaster of a ride is on a dip. Praying that we get back to the ups here soon. Very emotional and in my head right now so i wont say much, but i will take prayers!

Saturday, November 28, 2009

I missed a day of posting...sorry

Tallulah + work = Exhausted.  I didnt get a chance to write yesterday because i worked all day, visited my sunshine, worked again, visited my sunshine then came home and crashed!  My T is doing good.  She has made a really good turn.  She is now being fed breastmilk.  YAY!  The doctors didnt think she would get here for a bit, but my Rue is doing her thing.  She is looking better and better every visit.  They are giving her the smallest amount of milk that they can and they are feeding it to her through tubes, but im still very very excited.  Her insulin levels continue to play around but her blood pressure and heart rate are pretty consistent (thanks to the power or prayer and her strength).  The nurses replaced her eye goggles that they keep on her to protect her eyes, and I got to keep them.  They smell just like her.  I want to eat them.  Its very animalistic, mamal like for me when i smell her.  I inhale so hard like i want to inhale her.  Her scent gives me a tickle in my belly button, but all the way to the back like in my spine.  I cant describe it.  Kinda like a cat in catnip.  I just cant get enough of it. 

Today was a little harder for us.  T cant seem to keep her art line in.  Which means every hour they have to prick her little tiny heel to get a blood sample to test her insulin and to test her blood gas.  Its so hard to watch.  She wrinkels her forehead and gets so angry.  It breaks my HEART!!!  She is really funny to watch while Daddy and I are standing there talking to her.  Her eyes go from him to me, to me to him.  I love it.  She is so squiggly that I have found myself calling her SquigglyMcSquiggler.  The doctor there tonite told me he had never seen such a tiny baby act as active as her.  I dont know if he meant it as a compliment, but i smiled and glowed with pride.  Thats my lil devil!  I changed her yesterday and took her tempature.  She did really really well.  The nurses tell me front to back, front to back, no one wants a U.T.I.  LOL.   One of the nurses made her the cutest lil hat.   Im going to post a picture i took of her in it tomorrow.  Im off to sleep now.  Im so tired that im running on dust!  thanks for all of your support.  We are living on it!

Friday, November 27, 2009

Happy Thanksgiving 2009

Happy Thanksgiving everyone.  Tallulah had a great thanksgiving.  Daddy and I had a fantastic one.  T looked amazing and was responding really well.  The nurses that worked yesterday were so generous.  My mother and I were in there with T and she decided to open her eyes for us.  It was the best present EVER!!!  Everytime i spoke to her, her eyes would gaze on me.  I would stop talking and her eyes would roll in around and blink.  Then i would start singing to her or just talking to her or just calling her my pretty girl and those beautiful eyes would  roll over to me and stay fixated.  IT WAS CRAZY AMAZING!!!!  She wrapped me around her little tiny finger in 1.1 second.  Im so happy that my mother was there to share it with me.  Tallulah is so beautiful that i melts me.  Holding her hand and looking into her eyes is paradise.  We stared at eachother for just a few minutes, but it felt like a lifetime.  I cant wait to go back today and see her.  Her skin is looking good and aside from having trouble with her art(?) line, everything else is looking good.  Shes looking bigger to me.  Mark and I came home and pulled out all of our family albums and went through pics trying to figure out whos features we see in her already. 
We got together with my family and ate like pigs.  We had TurDucken,  mashed potatoes, arros con gandules, green bean casserole, sweet potatoe pie.......we were stuffed.  The funniest thing about my thanksgiving was we ended up playing with my brothers guns.  Go figure.  Thanksgiving + 2 handguns = crazy people.  My mother was mad and yelling at us to put them away.   Mark was calling us Charlies Angels.  My sister in law was cracking up and me and my brother pretending we were pointing the guns at intruders like in the movies.  Let me rewind a bit to say that I dont normally play with real guns.  My brothers house and car have been broken into several times in the last few months and the police advised him to get one for him and his wife for safety.   They both took the class at the sherrifs dept and got licensed.  The guns are new and little and pretty.  My sister in laws even has a laser light that points out so I think you can scare a theif away without having to use the bullet.  They keep them locked up in a proper place safely, but it was kinda fun.  
Ok.  Back to Tallulah.  We are going to see her in a bit here as soon as we get ready.  I would really like to say a special thanks to Nurses Heather, Vangie and Kimberly for spending part of their special day caring for my special lady.  It takes a very selfless person to care for someone elses child while wanting to be with their own.  I cant thank you and all of the staff there yesterday and everyday enough.  We are starting to feel like part of the NICU family and i now know what that means.  There was a mother there picking up her angel.  Her baby was born at 25 weeks and had been there for 4 months.  She was so happy and excited.  She brought presents and food and cake to all of the staff.  She even left a congrat card and premie clothes for Tallulah to welcome her to the family.  It was really inspiring.  I imagined us in a few months doing the same thing and got so ecited.  One day i am going to be that parent and i am going to remember to do that same thing to someone.  It means the world to me and I cant thank her enough.  Ok.  we are off to what we call T-world.  Its the best amusement park in the world!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!     R.

Wednesday, November 25, 2009

Having a trying day!

We returned to work today.  It was difficult to focus on my job and not on T.  I am addicted to her and cant help but miss her when im not there with her.  Its funny, cause its not like i can do anything for her while im there, but i just want to be there.  She had a rough day herself.  Some of tubes had to be replaced and she had some trouble with her pick line so they had to prick her everytime to get blood to test it.  That puts her tiny fragile body under a lot of stress.  She looked like she was grouchy and over it.  It was hard.  Mark changed her diaper for the first time and did a fantastic job!  the nurses were really impressed.  She was weighed again tonite and gained 1 whole ounce YAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAY.  Its amazing how something so little can give me soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
much hope.  We had a new nurse tonite.  We like her a lot.  Today was the first time I saw her get picked up and carried by someone.  It was awesome.  She opened her eyes and I melted. 
Several clients/friends brought her gifts to the salon today.  A beautiful outfit from gymboree.  She also got 3 outfits from Circo that are freakin adorable.  We also got some premie diapers and a lot of cards congratulating us on her birth.   Its weird,  ive been caught up so much on her health and her needs that I forgot to celebrate.  I want to get a "Its a girl!" balloon and hang it on my patio.  I have always wanted to do that!  If it wouldnt take time away from T.Rue I would go get a tattoo to celebrate her birth.  I havnt figured out what im going to get yet.  I may put her zodiac chart on my lower arm.  Her sign and ruling houses and maybe her pretty name in there.  Or maybe since mark and I are geminis i may get the gemini twins with them holding their hands open and have a lil scorpio in one hand and a baby rattle in the other.  I dont know yet.  I am definitely getting something to celebrate.  I have saved a big space on my arm for this. 
Tomorrow is thanksgiving and boy am i thankful.  My T.Rue is more than enough to fill up my heart for ever.  I find myself hanging on every movement she makes and holding my breath while shes doing it.  Its the craziest thing ever.  Its like a 8th grade crush that floors me!  Tomorrow I am going to get up and go visit my baby and be thankful with her.  My mom is going to visit too.  Then its off to my brothers house for some TurDucken. 
I pray my terrific T has a great nite and rests and grows grows grows!!!!!

Until next time .......Richie

no call in the middle of the nite = Tallulah had a good nite

I tried to sleep last nite and did pretty good.  My phone didnt ring all nite which means good things.  My baby is in my head big time!!!!!  I am going to be applying color to my clients, while thinking Tallulah.  I am hoping that staying busy will speed up time!  Some of my friends on my surro mom message board think that will happen.  I love that message board and the friends that i have made there.  I am soooooooo at peace when im on that site and reading their posts.  Sometimes i read, re-read and re-read again their posts.   I cry, i laugh, i cry, i smile, i cry, i ready and i cry.  Not all of the tears are scared tears though.  Some are the joy of fatherhood and the helplessness you feel when your daughter is in a glass incubator with 5 gazillian wires and tubes everywhere.  sometimes i feel like i could just bring her home and do it myself, until one of the bells or whistles goes off and nurses go into action...then i realize that i should stick to hair and let them do the healing....     I thank you all for your support again. 
Off to the hospital and off to work then back to the hospital then back to work then back to the hospital then home.    I know it sounds crazy,  but i am so excited about the hospital break in the middle of the day.  Kind of like a mid-day break to go to the Toys R Us for my heart. 
                                      I love my little scorpion!  

P.s.  We decided to decorate her nursery in pink kangaroos.  I call her Tallulah Rue my kangaRue!!!  How cute it that!

Tuesday, November 24, 2009

Team Tallulah

Hey all. Today was a decent day for my angel. We met this morning with "team Tallulah". All of her drs, nurses, specialist, social worker, thereapist and even chaplin. I got a bit overwhelmed when we walked into the room because it became soooooo real. I felt like a wimp, but the all re-assured me that what i was feeling was normal. We talked a lot about where my lil star is, where she is going to be and how we are going to get her there. It was an amazing meeting. I am amazed that there are people in the world that do these jobs for a living. It makes my job of styling hair so superficial! These people know sooooo much and have such gentleness in their eyes that it humbles me. I know my lil star is in good hands! She had a rough nite last nite. She had a pic line installed so that they dont have to keep pricking her to get blood. They also removed the tubes from her belly button and added an i.v. in her hand. We went to visit her while they were putting in the lines and we were shocked. We had to leave because it was overwhelming. I felt bad for our primary nurse because i could see in her face that she didnt want us to be afraid, but couldnt take the time away from what they were doing to tell us. She called us at home later that nite to re-assure us of how tiny t was doing. That was AWESOME! T is still on a low sedative and off and on with her insulin. She is so squiggly! I love touching her feet and legs. I sing to her and talk to her and I KNOW she feels and hears me. The little boy next to her is adorable. I call him T's boyfriend. I tell them that they worry us all day long laying there and then we come home and they go out dancing. LOL
We are returning to work tomorrow
I dont know how Im going to do it, but I am going to do it. I have scheduled a 2 hour break in the middle of my day from 2-4 to take a hospital break. I may have some angry clients and my even loose some, but I just HAVE to do this. I cant go the entire day without a fix. My plan is to be there in the morning before I go into the salon at 10. then take my mid day hospital break visit. Then one last good nite visit when im done at the salon around 930. Luckily we only live a few minutes from the salon and the hospital. My T.Rue is never more than a 5 min drive (thank god!). I printed up some pictures from the ones i have taken so i dont have to show them to my clients and co-workers on the laptop or my phone. I had started our first baby album with all of her ultrasound pics, and now have some live ones in there. She looks exactly EXACTLY like the ultrasound pics. Considering that the last ultrasound was exactly 1 week before she was delivered, im not surprised.
I keep telling myself that i am working for 3 now and trying to get back in that mode, but im not. I could spend 24 hours a day sitting by the incubator. I am crocheting T a blanket for her space in lavender and pink. I think she is going to love it.
My mother visited her yesterday and it was beautiful. she touches tallulah so softly. she talks to her so calm and mellow. t really responds. i took notes from her and did the same things today to t and she responded the same way. YAY! I think she is going to be very tickelish. Her little curls are starting to wave on her head and they are no longer covering her skin in aquaphor, so she is looking more and more healthy.
The doctor re-assured us today that we had enough blood already.
*****If any donors out there still want to donate, please do so. It wont go to T, but it will go to another very needing patient. You can even request that your blood stay in your local hospital and even what department it goes to.*****************

Thank you all for your continued support and concern! We are living on your hopes and prayers get us through this. I am learning a lot about myself, my husband and my family and friends. Its kind of crazy. growing up is much harder than i expected it to be, but very rewarding.

okay. i have to get back to this blanket or i will never finish it. of course i am being very ambitious with it and the pattern im using so i have to really think while im working. I did that on purpose so that i dont sit there in the nicu and listen to all of the bells and whistles going off every few seconds.

I will update you guys more tomorrow. I love you all and couldnt be where I am today without your support! Thank you from top and bottom of my heart!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


Monday, November 23, 2009

Happy 1 week birthday My Angel

T had a good day, not great, but good.  Im good with that.  She had a lot going on today with the doctors...all for the better im sure.  She is getting her color a little more. The more blood she receives the better she looks.  I am loving the nurses at the NICU.   They are really supportive on top of professional.  The food at the hospital cafeteria is amazing.  I pray that she has a great night.  I am making her a blanket right now.  Lavender and pink yarn.  She is going to love it!!!  Im exhausted and hungry and will write more later.  I love you T!!!

Another good nite for my shining T!

Richie Roman Just got home from the hospital. my baby T is cruising right along. the doctors are placing an i v today and removing the feeding tube from her belly button. we are praying that they find a strong vein!!! My heart is so full of love for this angel. She is everything i have wanted since i was 8 years old. I love my T.R.A-B. I want her in my arms!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Saturday, November 21, 2009

Smiling angel

Its 10:25 and we made it home from another day. Tallulah is doing great tonite. They told us that there would be ups and downs, tonite was definitely an up. She received her first blood transfusion this morning, and by this evening you could see the results. Her skin was glowing and her eyes were opening. If I didnt know any better, she smiled...twice. It was super magical. she is moving her arms a lot and the nurses say she tries to push their hands away from her face. she really doesnt like to be touched by the nurses, but responds beautifully to our touch. Her numbers stabilize wonderfullly when we are there touching and talking to her. I have never been a really religious person, but, Mark and I must have done something right in this lifetime to have been given such an amazing gift! She is already the light of my life. I will probably try to sleep early tonite to wake up and go back.

The blood she received was from one of our donors. How grateful am I for them. We WILL need more blood in a few weeks. I will post on here all of the details, so if you were considering donating...hang on. Tallulah will definitely need it as do many many many other babies. The nurse told us today that people can go donate to their local hospitals and request that their donation go to premies locally. What an amazing way to give back to your local community and actually see your donation saving lives in the faces of your friends and neighbors.

Ok. im done for now. Tallulah thanks you for all of your support and I will keep posting pic of her here for all of you to see our angel. Thanks so much for all of the calls, texts, emails, blood donations, thoughts, prayers and everything else that has make this crazy week a little easier. Tomorrow is day 6 and I pray to the lord above that T continues down the healthy strong path that she is on.

My big brother Ramon, lost his four legged daughter today. Gahli lived over 11 years and gave my family many years of laughter and memories. He is of course devestated, but knows that his dog Gahli is watching over Tallulah now and that make him feel a lot better. My love goes out to them through this rough time. Having lost a dog 3 years ago, i know the pain he is feeling.

Mark and I thank you guys again and will post more tomorrow. Exhausted, drained, and optimistic describes it to a T (pun intended!)
Richie & Mark & Tallulah


Tallulah continues to do well. Her skin is a looking so beautiful! She is moving when we talk to her and i am radiating pride!!!!!! i hold her hand and pretend we are playing pattycake. the nurses are all in love with her and hang around us asking us hair advice and telling us about how T is doing. They kept a disposable camera from us to take pics if she does anything when we arent there. Im a little anxious to go back to work, but we have to. I dont know how its going to be or how i am going to handle it, but, money doesnt grow on trees.LOL i AM however, going to be taking a 2 hour break in the middle of the day to spend at least 1 hour with her during the day. I dont work until 10, so i can see her in the morning too. Knowing me and mark, we will be there after work too and in between clients if we have any cancellations. I am pryaing for the strength to go back, because every second im not next to her i feel guilty. I know i shouldnt, but i cant help the ache. We just took surro mom grocery shopping to get her back on her feet. She is doing well and getting back to normal fast. Thank goodnesss. I am heading back in a few. I will write more later and post a new pic of my angel. until then...thanks...richie

Friday, November 20, 2009

a few more pics

few pics of the last few days

Tallulah thanks you all!!!!!!

Tallulah has asked that we start this blogspot for her so that her Daddy and Papi can spend more time with her and less time on those black things in their hands and on their ears. I told them to put this link on myspace, facebook,, and everywhere else that our friends and families can follow up on.

Our blood request went really well. We have had 7 people donate on the first day alone!!! Tallulah is overwhelmed by the response as are her family! The doctors have asked that we let everyone know that we have enough for the first week. They want the donors to stagger themselves week by week so that we keep a fresh supply going as needed.

We are going to be posting on here what are needs and availabilities are as far as blood, visiting, appointments......and all that good stuff.

Tallulah wants to give very special kisses and hugs to first round of donors (angels) that are keeping her going....

Tiffany Joe Truelove- thank you so much!!! your smile melted my Papi's heart!

Kat- Tallulah is going to suck out all of the smarts from your blood.

Robin Clinch- You truly are an amazing support system on your own!!!!

Amy Pierce- Tallulah is crafting thanks you your donation!

Enrique- The kindness of a friend I had yet to meet humbles me!

Tallulah has had an overwhelming amount of support these first few precious days. She is blessed as is her family for the time we are getting to spend together.

We will keep you all updated regularly though here. Please forward all questions, comments, prayers, concerns, thoughts or anything else to this page. It has become a part time job to keep up and post on myspace, facebook, surromomsonline.......not to mention visitors and phone calls and texts.

Thak you all so much again and Tallulah Rue Adkins-Bonilla is LIVING on your hopes and prayers!!!

Richie & Mark