Monday, November 30, 2009

Tallulahs new hat

A better day

thanks friends. today was a lil better for my star. not completely out of the woods, but better!:sunshine: i feel so bad for the nurses because i obviously reacted bad yesterday because they handled me with gloves on today. My baby is so beautiful! even sedated, she is a wiggler. her blood pressure and insulin are a huge balancing act, but she is trooping ahead, thank in part to all of your prayers! My mother and i visited her today for 4 hours and had a good time. her x rays are coming back promising. her puncture on her lung is healing over on its own which is promising. she has gained some weight as well. she was born at 530 grams and now weighs 610 grams. She is also 14 days old today. happy birthday to my kangaRue! Mark and i stay at the hospital all day, leave to come home and handle things and then run back up there. although its tiring, i wouldnt have it anyother way! I cherish every single second that i am there with her. her little movements, stretches, yawns, stares....i eat them up and stay high on them until the next one. You guys really help me along this road. I find myself telling Tallulah about you guys and all of your thoughts and prayers. the nurses laugh cause i take a list in with me and tell her the screen name and where you are from to tell her. they are amazed that i have people all over this globe praying for her. i tell them that my T.Rue is going to be a huge philanthropist and will have to give lots and lots back to the world for all of the prayers she is receiving. she WILL rock this world! I am really getting to know the nurses that care for her and they are some amazing people. Wendy, Vangie and Dominique are amongst some of the amazing women that care for my Rue all day and nite. I cant thank them enough!!! I hope my T absorbs some of their gentleness! Im sure its not easy to see a big guy singing and crying and praying and laughing all day long next to a tiny fighter.

Today was a good day and tomorrow will be even better!m I am fully committed to Tallulah breaking all hospital records and blowing them away with her recovery! She looks at me and I know she is going to be all right, I just know it in my gut!

Okay. Thats all for now.....Thanks again and may the powers above bless you all for your support! R

Sunday, November 29, 2009

Thank you so much my friends!!! We just got an update from our Tallulahs nite nurse and things are going smooth right now. Earlier this morning one of her lungs punctured. They say its common with premies this small. They have been x-raying her regularly to see if the puncture is going to heal on its own or if they have to go in and fix it. The fear of them having to go in is infection. they suctioned out all of the extra oxygen that was getting to places that it shouldnt and are watching for the puncture to seal. So far so good. They have her heavily sedated so that she doesnt wiggle around and make matters worse. She has an iv in one hand and an insulin drip in the other. A feeding tube in her nostril and her breathing tubes in her mouth. A heart rate/blood pressure monitor on one heel and a heel warmer on the other heel to keep the blood sample wound from healing so that they dont have to prick her to draw blood every hour to test her sugar. It was a lot to see. Partly because we had such a good nite that i think we went in a little too confident and were shocked. I love this little thing so much that i feel helpless. I want to do so much to help her, but loving and praying are all that i can REALLY do. I am going to stay strong for her! I am going to make it through this! Tallulah is going to be home before I know it and im going to be one of those annoying parents that over protects their kid and never stops talking about her. This is the hope that i am living for right now. Thank you for your prayer! R

Let me say more

My T isnt doing so well today. Shes got a lot going on with her under developed lungs and we are in prayer mode right now. I had a semi-breakdown at the hospital and had to go into the family room to unwind and relax. I feel bad for the nurses having to tell us news that we dont want to hear. I know it breaks their hearts to tell us bad things as much as it does to hear it. I am in super duper wuper prayer mode right now. Please join me in praying for the development and strength of my babys lungs. I am so in love with her and i want her healthy and strong. thanks in advance!! R

Needing prayers!!!

I had an overwhelming day at the hospital with my T. Our rollercoaster of a ride is on a dip. Praying that we get back to the ups here soon. Very emotional and in my head right now so i wont say much, but i will take prayers!

Saturday, November 28, 2009

I missed a day of posting...sorry

Tallulah + work = Exhausted.  I didnt get a chance to write yesterday because i worked all day, visited my sunshine, worked again, visited my sunshine then came home and crashed!  My T is doing good.  She has made a really good turn.  She is now being fed breastmilk.  YAY!  The doctors didnt think she would get here for a bit, but my Rue is doing her thing.  She is looking better and better every visit.  They are giving her the smallest amount of milk that they can and they are feeding it to her through tubes, but im still very very excited.  Her insulin levels continue to play around but her blood pressure and heart rate are pretty consistent (thanks to the power or prayer and her strength).  The nurses replaced her eye goggles that they keep on her to protect her eyes, and I got to keep them.  They smell just like her.  I want to eat them.  Its very animalistic, mamal like for me when i smell her.  I inhale so hard like i want to inhale her.  Her scent gives me a tickle in my belly button, but all the way to the back like in my spine.  I cant describe it.  Kinda like a cat in catnip.  I just cant get enough of it. 

Today was a little harder for us.  T cant seem to keep her art line in.  Which means every hour they have to prick her little tiny heel to get a blood sample to test her insulin and to test her blood gas.  Its so hard to watch.  She wrinkels her forehead and gets so angry.  It breaks my HEART!!!  She is really funny to watch while Daddy and I are standing there talking to her.  Her eyes go from him to me, to me to him.  I love it.  She is so squiggly that I have found myself calling her SquigglyMcSquiggler.  The doctor there tonite told me he had never seen such a tiny baby act as active as her.  I dont know if he meant it as a compliment, but i smiled and glowed with pride.  Thats my lil devil!  I changed her yesterday and took her tempature.  She did really really well.  The nurses tell me front to back, front to back, no one wants a U.T.I.  LOL.   One of the nurses made her the cutest lil hat.   Im going to post a picture i took of her in it tomorrow.  Im off to sleep now.  Im so tired that im running on dust!  thanks for all of your support.  We are living on it!

Friday, November 27, 2009

Happy Thanksgiving 2009

Happy Thanksgiving everyone.  Tallulah had a great thanksgiving.  Daddy and I had a fantastic one.  T looked amazing and was responding really well.  The nurses that worked yesterday were so generous.  My mother and I were in there with T and she decided to open her eyes for us.  It was the best present EVER!!!  Everytime i spoke to her, her eyes would gaze on me.  I would stop talking and her eyes would roll in around and blink.  Then i would start singing to her or just talking to her or just calling her my pretty girl and those beautiful eyes would  roll over to me and stay fixated.  IT WAS CRAZY AMAZING!!!!  She wrapped me around her little tiny finger in 1.1 second.  Im so happy that my mother was there to share it with me.  Tallulah is so beautiful that i melts me.  Holding her hand and looking into her eyes is paradise.  We stared at eachother for just a few minutes, but it felt like a lifetime.  I cant wait to go back today and see her.  Her skin is looking good and aside from having trouble with her art(?) line, everything else is looking good.  Shes looking bigger to me.  Mark and I came home and pulled out all of our family albums and went through pics trying to figure out whos features we see in her already. 
We got together with my family and ate like pigs.  We had TurDucken,  mashed potatoes, arros con gandules, green bean casserole, sweet potatoe pie.......we were stuffed.  The funniest thing about my thanksgiving was we ended up playing with my brothers guns.  Go figure.  Thanksgiving + 2 handguns = crazy people.  My mother was mad and yelling at us to put them away.   Mark was calling us Charlies Angels.  My sister in law was cracking up and me and my brother pretending we were pointing the guns at intruders like in the movies.  Let me rewind a bit to say that I dont normally play with real guns.  My brothers house and car have been broken into several times in the last few months and the police advised him to get one for him and his wife for safety.   They both took the class at the sherrifs dept and got licensed.  The guns are new and little and pretty.  My sister in laws even has a laser light that points out so I think you can scare a theif away without having to use the bullet.  They keep them locked up in a proper place safely, but it was kinda fun.  
Ok.  Back to Tallulah.  We are going to see her in a bit here as soon as we get ready.  I would really like to say a special thanks to Nurses Heather, Vangie and Kimberly for spending part of their special day caring for my special lady.  It takes a very selfless person to care for someone elses child while wanting to be with their own.  I cant thank you and all of the staff there yesterday and everyday enough.  We are starting to feel like part of the NICU family and i now know what that means.  There was a mother there picking up her angel.  Her baby was born at 25 weeks and had been there for 4 months.  She was so happy and excited.  She brought presents and food and cake to all of the staff.  She even left a congrat card and premie clothes for Tallulah to welcome her to the family.  It was really inspiring.  I imagined us in a few months doing the same thing and got so ecited.  One day i am going to be that parent and i am going to remember to do that same thing to someone.  It means the world to me and I cant thank her enough.  Ok.  we are off to what we call T-world.  Its the best amusement park in the world!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!     R.

Wednesday, November 25, 2009

Having a trying day!

We returned to work today.  It was difficult to focus on my job and not on T.  I am addicted to her and cant help but miss her when im not there with her.  Its funny, cause its not like i can do anything for her while im there, but i just want to be there.  She had a rough day herself.  Some of tubes had to be replaced and she had some trouble with her pick line so they had to prick her everytime to get blood to test it.  That puts her tiny fragile body under a lot of stress.  She looked like she was grouchy and over it.  It was hard.  Mark changed her diaper for the first time and did a fantastic job!  the nurses were really impressed.  She was weighed again tonite and gained 1 whole ounce YAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAY.  Its amazing how something so little can give me soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
much hope.  We had a new nurse tonite.  We like her a lot.  Today was the first time I saw her get picked up and carried by someone.  It was awesome.  She opened her eyes and I melted. 
Several clients/friends brought her gifts to the salon today.  A beautiful outfit from gymboree.  She also got 3 outfits from Circo that are freakin adorable.  We also got some premie diapers and a lot of cards congratulating us on her birth.   Its weird,  ive been caught up so much on her health and her needs that I forgot to celebrate.  I want to get a "Its a girl!" balloon and hang it on my patio.  I have always wanted to do that!  If it wouldnt take time away from T.Rue I would go get a tattoo to celebrate her birth.  I havnt figured out what im going to get yet.  I may put her zodiac chart on my lower arm.  Her sign and ruling houses and maybe her pretty name in there.  Or maybe since mark and I are geminis i may get the gemini twins with them holding their hands open and have a lil scorpio in one hand and a baby rattle in the other.  I dont know yet.  I am definitely getting something to celebrate.  I have saved a big space on my arm for this. 
Tomorrow is thanksgiving and boy am i thankful.  My T.Rue is more than enough to fill up my heart for ever.  I find myself hanging on every movement she makes and holding my breath while shes doing it.  Its the craziest thing ever.  Its like a 8th grade crush that floors me!  Tomorrow I am going to get up and go visit my baby and be thankful with her.  My mom is going to visit too.  Then its off to my brothers house for some TurDucken. 
I pray my terrific T has a great nite and rests and grows grows grows!!!!!

Until next time .......Richie

no call in the middle of the nite = Tallulah had a good nite

I tried to sleep last nite and did pretty good.  My phone didnt ring all nite which means good things.  My baby is in my head big time!!!!!  I am going to be applying color to my clients, while thinking Tallulah.  I am hoping that staying busy will speed up time!  Some of my friends on my surro mom message board think that will happen.  I love that message board and the friends that i have made there.  I am soooooooo at peace when im on that site and reading their posts.  Sometimes i read, re-read and re-read again their posts.   I cry, i laugh, i cry, i smile, i cry, i ready and i cry.  Not all of the tears are scared tears though.  Some are the joy of fatherhood and the helplessness you feel when your daughter is in a glass incubator with 5 gazillian wires and tubes everywhere.  sometimes i feel like i could just bring her home and do it myself, until one of the bells or whistles goes off and nurses go into action...then i realize that i should stick to hair and let them do the healing....     I thank you all for your support again. 
Off to the hospital and off to work then back to the hospital then back to work then back to the hospital then home.    I know it sounds crazy,  but i am so excited about the hospital break in the middle of the day.  Kind of like a mid-day break to go to the Toys R Us for my heart. 
                                      I love my little scorpion!  

P.s.  We decided to decorate her nursery in pink kangaroos.  I call her Tallulah Rue my kangaRue!!!  How cute it that!

Tuesday, November 24, 2009

Team Tallulah

Hey all. Today was a decent day for my angel. We met this morning with "team Tallulah". All of her drs, nurses, specialist, social worker, thereapist and even chaplin. I got a bit overwhelmed when we walked into the room because it became soooooo real. I felt like a wimp, but the all re-assured me that what i was feeling was normal. We talked a lot about where my lil star is, where she is going to be and how we are going to get her there. It was an amazing meeting. I am amazed that there are people in the world that do these jobs for a living. It makes my job of styling hair so superficial! These people know sooooo much and have such gentleness in their eyes that it humbles me. I know my lil star is in good hands! She had a rough nite last nite. She had a pic line installed so that they dont have to keep pricking her to get blood. They also removed the tubes from her belly button and added an i.v. in her hand. We went to visit her while they were putting in the lines and we were shocked. We had to leave because it was overwhelming. I felt bad for our primary nurse because i could see in her face that she didnt want us to be afraid, but couldnt take the time away from what they were doing to tell us. She called us at home later that nite to re-assure us of how tiny t was doing. That was AWESOME! T is still on a low sedative and off and on with her insulin. She is so squiggly! I love touching her feet and legs. I sing to her and talk to her and I KNOW she feels and hears me. The little boy next to her is adorable. I call him T's boyfriend. I tell them that they worry us all day long laying there and then we come home and they go out dancing. LOL
We are returning to work tomorrow
I dont know how Im going to do it, but I am going to do it. I have scheduled a 2 hour break in the middle of my day from 2-4 to take a hospital break. I may have some angry clients and my even loose some, but I just HAVE to do this. I cant go the entire day without a fix. My plan is to be there in the morning before I go into the salon at 10. then take my mid day hospital break visit. Then one last good nite visit when im done at the salon around 930. Luckily we only live a few minutes from the salon and the hospital. My T.Rue is never more than a 5 min drive (thank god!). I printed up some pictures from the ones i have taken so i dont have to show them to my clients and co-workers on the laptop or my phone. I had started our first baby album with all of her ultrasound pics, and now have some live ones in there. She looks exactly EXACTLY like the ultrasound pics. Considering that the last ultrasound was exactly 1 week before she was delivered, im not surprised.
I keep telling myself that i am working for 3 now and trying to get back in that mode, but im not. I could spend 24 hours a day sitting by the incubator. I am crocheting T a blanket for her space in lavender and pink. I think she is going to love it.
My mother visited her yesterday and it was beautiful. she touches tallulah so softly. she talks to her so calm and mellow. t really responds. i took notes from her and did the same things today to t and she responded the same way. YAY! I think she is going to be very tickelish. Her little curls are starting to wave on her head and they are no longer covering her skin in aquaphor, so she is looking more and more healthy.
The doctor re-assured us today that we had enough blood already.
*****If any donors out there still want to donate, please do so. It wont go to T, but it will go to another very needing patient. You can even request that your blood stay in your local hospital and even what department it goes to.*****************

Thank you all for your continued support and concern! We are living on your hopes and prayers get us through this. I am learning a lot about myself, my husband and my family and friends. Its kind of crazy. growing up is much harder than i expected it to be, but very rewarding.

okay. i have to get back to this blanket or i will never finish it. of course i am being very ambitious with it and the pattern im using so i have to really think while im working. I did that on purpose so that i dont sit there in the nicu and listen to all of the bells and whistles going off every few seconds.

I will update you guys more tomorrow. I love you all and couldnt be where I am today without your support! Thank you from top and bottom of my heart!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


Monday, November 23, 2009

Happy 1 week birthday My Angel

T had a good day, not great, but good.  Im good with that.  She had a lot going on today with the doctors...all for the better im sure.  She is getting her color a little more. The more blood she receives the better she looks.  I am loving the nurses at the NICU.   They are really supportive on top of professional.  The food at the hospital cafeteria is amazing.  I pray that she has a great night.  I am making her a blanket right now.  Lavender and pink yarn.  She is going to love it!!!  Im exhausted and hungry and will write more later.  I love you T!!!

Another good nite for my shining T!

Richie Roman Just got home from the hospital. my baby T is cruising right along. the doctors are placing an i v today and removing the feeding tube from her belly button. we are praying that they find a strong vein!!! My heart is so full of love for this angel. She is everything i have wanted since i was 8 years old. I love my T.R.A-B. I want her in my arms!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Saturday, November 21, 2009

Smiling angel

Its 10:25 and we made it home from another day. Tallulah is doing great tonite. They told us that there would be ups and downs, tonite was definitely an up. She received her first blood transfusion this morning, and by this evening you could see the results. Her skin was glowing and her eyes were opening. If I didnt know any better, she smiled...twice. It was super magical. she is moving her arms a lot and the nurses say she tries to push their hands away from her face. she really doesnt like to be touched by the nurses, but responds beautifully to our touch. Her numbers stabilize wonderfullly when we are there touching and talking to her. I have never been a really religious person, but, Mark and I must have done something right in this lifetime to have been given such an amazing gift! She is already the light of my life. I will probably try to sleep early tonite to wake up and go back.

The blood she received was from one of our donors. How grateful am I for them. We WILL need more blood in a few weeks. I will post on here all of the details, so if you were considering donating...hang on. Tallulah will definitely need it as do many many many other babies. The nurse told us today that people can go donate to their local hospitals and request that their donation go to premies locally. What an amazing way to give back to your local community and actually see your donation saving lives in the faces of your friends and neighbors.

Ok. im done for now. Tallulah thanks you for all of your support and I will keep posting pic of her here for all of you to see our angel. Thanks so much for all of the calls, texts, emails, blood donations, thoughts, prayers and everything else that has make this crazy week a little easier. Tomorrow is day 6 and I pray to the lord above that T continues down the healthy strong path that she is on.

My big brother Ramon, lost his four legged daughter today. Gahli lived over 11 years and gave my family many years of laughter and memories. He is of course devestated, but knows that his dog Gahli is watching over Tallulah now and that make him feel a lot better. My love goes out to them through this rough time. Having lost a dog 3 years ago, i know the pain he is feeling.

Mark and I thank you guys again and will post more tomorrow. Exhausted, drained, and optimistic describes it to a T (pun intended!)
Richie & Mark & Tallulah


Tallulah continues to do well. Her skin is a looking so beautiful! She is moving when we talk to her and i am radiating pride!!!!!! i hold her hand and pretend we are playing pattycake. the nurses are all in love with her and hang around us asking us hair advice and telling us about how T is doing. They kept a disposable camera from us to take pics if she does anything when we arent there. Im a little anxious to go back to work, but we have to. I dont know how its going to be or how i am going to handle it, but, money doesnt grow on trees.LOL i AM however, going to be taking a 2 hour break in the middle of the day to spend at least 1 hour with her during the day. I dont work until 10, so i can see her in the morning too. Knowing me and mark, we will be there after work too and in between clients if we have any cancellations. I am pryaing for the strength to go back, because every second im not next to her i feel guilty. I know i shouldnt, but i cant help the ache. We just took surro mom grocery shopping to get her back on her feet. She is doing well and getting back to normal fast. Thank goodnesss. I am heading back in a few. I will write more later and post a new pic of my angel. until then...thanks...richie

Friday, November 20, 2009

a few more pics

few pics of the last few days

Tallulah thanks you all!!!!!!

Tallulah has asked that we start this blogspot for her so that her Daddy and Papi can spend more time with her and less time on those black things in their hands and on their ears. I told them to put this link on myspace, facebook,, and everywhere else that our friends and families can follow up on.

Our blood request went really well. We have had 7 people donate on the first day alone!!! Tallulah is overwhelmed by the response as are her family! The doctors have asked that we let everyone know that we have enough for the first week. They want the donors to stagger themselves week by week so that we keep a fresh supply going as needed.

We are going to be posting on here what are needs and availabilities are as far as blood, visiting, appointments......and all that good stuff.

Tallulah wants to give very special kisses and hugs to first round of donors (angels) that are keeping her going....

Tiffany Joe Truelove- thank you so much!!! your smile melted my Papi's heart!

Kat- Tallulah is going to suck out all of the smarts from your blood.

Robin Clinch- You truly are an amazing support system on your own!!!!

Amy Pierce- Tallulah is crafting thanks you your donation!

Enrique- The kindness of a friend I had yet to meet humbles me!

Tallulah has had an overwhelming amount of support these first few precious days. She is blessed as is her family for the time we are getting to spend together.

We will keep you all updated regularly though here. Please forward all questions, comments, prayers, concerns, thoughts or anything else to this page. It has become a part time job to keep up and post on myspace, facebook, surromomsonline.......not to mention visitors and phone calls and texts.

Thak you all so much again and Tallulah Rue Adkins-Bonilla is LIVING on your hopes and prayers!!!

Richie & Mark