xoxoxoxoxo

Happy New Year

I normally get emotional this time of the year.  I am a constant crier at midnight.  I don't know why.  Just always have been.  This year, however, I am going to smile from ear to fricken-fracken ear.  I will be heading to Tallulahland in a bit and we will be counting down the new year with her.  I call it "Club Miller" aka Millers Children's Hospital.  Yup,  no sad emotions.  Only emotions of strength, courage, patience, health, wisdom and most importantly love.  Tallulah has opened my heart like a sardine can and I am grateful. Happy new years to you all.  Tallulah and her family thank you for your support.  I would like to personally thank my partner and very best friend in the whole wide wild world Mark aka my baby Daddy.  Together we have made all of our dreams come true...with Tallulah the world in our oyster!  Thank you for being my Robin for all of these years and I hope I can make you as proud of me as I am of you!!!   143!    

Off to T-Land!    R...Ts Papi

My beautiful princess...

My beautiful princess is doing fantastic.  She is holding steady and is over 2 lbs now.  She is very active and quite expressive.  I wonder where she gets that from???  Tallulah will get to meet her other Grandmother on Thursday.  Her Grandma Jan will be here visiting from Georgia.  She has been trying to come out since her Sweet T was born,  but we talked her into coming on her scheduled vacation for new years.  I am so excited to introduce Tallulah to her Grandma.  Actually, daddy will be introducing them since only 2 of us are allowed in the NICU at a time.  I cant wait to introduce her to the rest of the family as well.  All in time.  Today T-Star is 43 days old.  I cant believe it has been 43 days since she arrived.  Somethings are getting much easier as time goes by.  Some things are getting harder as time goes by.  As much as I try to convince myself that I was totally happy with my old life,  I realize that I wasn't.  My little bit of time that I spend with my T are the happiest and most satisfying part of my day.  As much as I miss certain little things, Tallulah far surpasses the missing.  She is so beautiful.  I know I say it over and over....but she is!  I just want her healthy and strong.  Healthy and Strong.  Healthy and Strong.  Those are the words for the new year...Healthy and Strong.  I guess I should lead by example...huh.....R

YAY

Ok.  Im a nerd.  I just realized you guys are saying hi on the slide thing above and Im soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo excited.  We feel so loved from all over the world!!!  WOW!  Wait until I tell Tallulah this tomorrow morning....R

Great Day for Miss Rue

Hi guys.  Tallulah Rue had a fantastic day again today.  We spent some time there tonight visiting with her.  I got to hold her for weighing again.  OOOps.  I always do it wrong the first time...LOL.  She is more alert and growing every day.  I cant wait to see what she is going to end up looking like.  Of course when she comes home I am going to wonder what shes going to look like when shes walking.  Then im going to wonder what she looks like when shes......this can go on for ever.  I am trying to just enjoy every single minute I spend with her!  Its starting to become part of my everyday conversation when I talk about "my daughter".  The more and more I say it out loud, the more and more excited I get.  We have been in such survival mode that now its feeling exciting.  I hope I never take the words "my daughter" for granted.  I hope I stay as excited to hear her name as I do right now.  I hope I get to look into her beautiful eyes for the rest of my life.  I will be finishing her closet tomorrow and will finally be organized with all of her gifts.  She really has been blessed.  I dont think this lil girl is going to need clothes for a bit...LOL.  I know, I know...a girl can never have too many clothes. 
Okay.  Goodnight everyone.  Tallulah I will meet you at our ceramics class in my dreams...R...Tallulah's Papi

Merry Christmas T-Star....

Tallulah is having a fantasic christmas.  We spent the eve with her and Team Tallulah captain Dominique.  I got the very best christmas present ever this year as I got to kiss the foot of my baby at midnight on christmas.  It doesnt get any better for me.  I have always longed and prayed for a baby.  I wanted a girl, but would be happy with a boy as well.  Low and behold my lil angel decides to take me and her daddy by storm.  She definitely made a grand entrance.  You want to talk about dramatic....huh.   As if I didnt alrealy love story telling with fun events in my life,  Tallulah gives me the best story yet.  I thank you all for being part of our story.  Your thoughts and prayers have given us a confidence that money couldnt pay for.  Mark and I truely appreciate all of the support coming in from the most unexpected places.   Its funny how you find comfort from those who are willing to catch and nurture you when life throws you a very scary curve.  This has been the most amazing roller coaster ride of our lives......and we love nothing more than a fun, scary, throw your hands up, dont know when its going to end, kind of rollercoaster ride. 

Merry Christmas from the bottom of our hearts...Papi, Daddy, Tallulah.....Farrah, Soho & Apple

Merry Merry Christmas....

December 22nd....Jet Day

Tallulah had a very important day.  Team Tallulah decided that she was strong enough to be removed from her Jet respirator and is now on conventional respirator.  YAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAY  My baby is growing!!!!!  She was extremely feisty tonight.  I was trying to post a video tonight, however, being the perfectionist that I am I couldn't finish the project tonight.  When I do finish it though, its going to be a piece of art starring the next big thing....Miss Tallulah herself.  She is now being fed every hour on the hour and that makes my heart smile.  Her hair looks longer and her strength is really improving.  Ok.  Thats all for tonight....R...Tallulah's Papi

Great Day, Great Nite...

My pretty angel...

My baby looked fan-to-the-astic tonite.  She was in a spirited mood because the nureses were doing some routine stuff to her.  She is sooooooo funny and picky.  I love her forehead when shes mad.  I just want to eat her up.  She is getting so many gifts from kind friends and clients.  She just received the baby einstein book set from my friend Wendy.  I m really excited about that one.  Tallulah is going to have everything she wants once she gets home.  We are trying to figure out how do put on a non-traditional baby shower.  Now that she beat her own party, we are probably going to just scale things down and make it a fun get together.  Date to be set, but probably the same day we had planned from the beginning, Jan 16.  I am excited to start a wishlist and registry for her now that i know her and have seen her and know that she is going to have a nursery in owls, kangaroos and bunnies. 
Ok.  Good nite y'all.  Smile for Tallulah because she feels it.  R...Tallulahs Papi

Santa Visited NICU

Ok.  Im back.  I have been out of commission for a few days with this crazy cold, flu or whatever it is.  This one hit me really hard.  probably because we have been running around a lot.  Tallulah is doing wonderful.  She had her picture taken with Santa yesterday.  The NICU had santa come through and I am sooooo excited.  Team Tallulah members Wendy and Dominique went way above and beyond the call of duty and made sure my lil star looked amazing.  Thank you 2 for making this christmas feel real.  Tallulah continues to gain weight and look good.   Here is a pic of T with santa.  I will write more later. 


Take care and thanks for hoping and praying for Tallulah.......keep them coming please....

The Karate Kid

With Papi still under the weather, I went & saw Tallulah without him tonight. She weighed in at 1pound 11oz. I also think she was auditioning for the new Karate Kid because she was kicking alot & doing some new chopping motion with her hands! Whe the time came for me to change her, I experienced my 1st "being urinated on." Yes, 1st of many!! Upon leaving, she enjoyed her nice milky dinner!!!

Daddy filling in for Papi...

Richie is soooooooooo beat down from working soooooooo hard! We walked into the house tonight & he knocked out right away. Sooooooooooooooo, I am filling in... Tallulah is being her wonderful little self! She got some blood today (thanks again to the donors.) Because of that, she should be looking nice & tan tomorrow!!! Other than that, her nurses & docs have decided that her actions are showing its time for her to get off that vent. Soooooooooooo, hopefully tomorrow morning she will be letting it go... keep your fingers crossed, your prayers sent, your positive energy flowing, & your magical powers working! We know they will make the right choices because, welllllll, she is in great hands!

For more info on LBMH check out their reviews right here!!!

G'nite LBMH, Readers, Friends, Papi, & Little T!!!

xoxoxo  Daddy

Talluah Rue...I love you

Tallulah Rue is having a fantastic day.  She is looking smashing and quite active.  Im going to bed...Goodnite.

One month down....millions to go

Today is a very thankful day for us.  Tallulah Rue is one month old today.  We are very blessed to have such a perfect angel in our lives.  She is so young and so small but so loved.  We look forward to sharing many many many many more birthdays with our Sweet T.  We spent some time with the birtday girl today and she was in good spirits.  She was very responsive and photographed beautifully.  She had just had an X-ray before we got there, so she wasnt in the best mood.  I kind of like it when shes angry.  Her forehead wrinkles up and turns red.  She balls up her fists and puts her arms over her head and she squirms.  So darn adorable.  Once she calmed down our visit was pure bliss.  She is holding on to her weight and gaining a lil more.  Getting stronger and stronger.

One of our friends Karly brought her beautiful 2 month old daughter Madeline to the salon today.  What a beautiful angel.  Madeline was also born early due to pre eclampsya.  Not as early as T-Rue, but early.  She is so pretty and dainty.  Karli and Maddy also brought T-Rue gifts.  Many gifts.   The cutest lil premie clothes you've ever seen.   I cant wait to start dressing my lil Star!  Thank you so much Santiago family for thinking about our Tallulah.

Okay.  Goodnite Tallulah,  and lots of energy and wisdom to Team Tallulah watching over her tonite!   R

Happy 1 month Birthday Tallulah Rue

Happy Birthday to you,
Happy Birthday to you,
Happy Birthday Tallulah Rue,
Happy Birthday to you!

I waited to post this until midnight because Tallulah was born on November 16....30 days ago.  She has changed soooooo much in one month that it is astonishing.  I am working on my first slide show of her of the first chapter or her life. 

We got two visits in again today.   YAYAYAYAAYYAY.  As tired as I am I got to be with my daughter twice today and that makes it a most excellent day!!!!   We took a lot of video of her because she was looking a little extra pretty today.  Her hair seems to be looking lighter and lighter.  So very pretty.   She was very active today.  Dominique changed her entire bedding today and we realized that someone had made the cutest card in Sweet T.'s cubie.  It is a picture of her and beside it is says Tallulah Rue and her birthdate and next to that it says "your daddies love you".  Okay.  Let me say that I think it is incredibly kind that someone would make a card so personalized for my lil Star, but then for it to say Your daddies love you...daddies,  just blows me away.  I think its the most considerate thing ever.  It made me get all teary eyed.  I felt so understood and included with all of the other parents.  It was a very sweet thing to do and we thank whoever did it very much.  
Tallulah weighed in today at 1lb 9oz.  Yeah baby.  My lil Chunker is doing her thing.  God is really being good to her and I am not forgetting him. 
My twin brother, Ricky, just moved back to California and cant wait to see T-Rue.  Tallulah is happy to have you back in California Uncle Ricky and cant wait to meet you. 
One of my clients/friends Linda M.  left T one of the cutest baskets in the world.  It has bibs, onesies, blanket, picture frames and a book called 5 minutes goodnite stories.  I love it.  Thank you so much Linda. 
Okay.  Phewww.  I feel like i just went on and on and on......goodnite!  Keep the prayers coming pleeeeez!

Pretty big eyes

I decided to post this picture today instead of typing much because i think it says it all. This is the re-action we get when we visit our Sweet T. She had another good day. We got in 2 visits with her and both were great. Until tomorrow...R

Twice

Tallulah had a very good day.  My mother went with us today and Tallulah always likes her visits.  My sweet T held on to her finger so tight it was sweet.  I got to change her diaper again tonite, and again tonite there was a poopy in there for me.  YAYAYYAYAYA  Poppy is such a good sign that things are working in proper order.  YAYAYAYAYAY.  She is also really sucking on her thumb and putting her fingers in her mouth.   Oh, did i forget to mention that i got to hold her again today..........twice.     You heard me right,  i got to hold my Sweet-T  for her weighing.  My mom was watching and loving it.  Im a pretty happy camper tonite.  Looking at her remind me of just how strong prayers really are! 

R

Its Papi and T again

I got to hold T-Rue

Daddy holding Tallulah

Today was a WOW day...

We were super-busy at the salon today and couldnt take our mid-day visit which made the day really long.  We couldnt wait to get to TallulahLand.  When we got there we were so happy.  She looks really good and really strong.  She was very responsive as usual.  We got there in time for diaper change and temperature check.  The fantastic nurses let me change her.  We found  a lil bit of poo-poo when we opened the diaper, to our surprise.  At this point I couldnt back our from the diaper changer, partly because I REALLY wanted to do it, and partly because the nurse said I had to finish now, as she laughed with Daddy . I was doing ok, front to back and patt it dry, no one likes a u.t.i.  Then all of a sudden, some poo got on my finger.  Now let me say that the size of the entire poo was about the size of a pea. Which is no big deal.  However, when its on my skin, my very sensitive to textures skin, my "I throw up so easy" skin...its a huge deal.  I looked to the side as i was about to gag and there were Daddys big green eyes asking are you gonna be ok.  I took a deep breath and forged ahead with my mission.  A few wipes and folds later and I had won the  war against the diaper.  As if that werent precious enough for one night, the big event was coming.   During  weighing time, the nurses were so kind as to let us hold Tallulah for a few seconds while they clear the scale.  I went first after washing and re washing my hands and sanitizing them.  When they put her into my hands I kind of inhaled.  I have dreamed for this moment for soooooooooo long that I kind of wanted to enjoy it.  I was looking at her hair and her perfect forehead and as i glanced down the bridge of her nose her eyes opened and we stared at eachother eye to eye.  I felt electrified.  I felt like saying "Wonder twin powers....Activate...Form of a Father".   Im a gonner for sure now.  Shes got me wrapped around her tiny pinky finger.  She is amazingly beautiful.  Tiny and perfect in every way.  I held her for too long so we had to do it again.....Oooooops.  ;)   This time Daddy got to hold her.  He was nervous I could see it on his face.  It was a very precious moment for us and i cant thank the girls enough for letting us assist them. 
Mark and I are really opening up to Team Tallulah, and they are opening up to us and it feels really good.  A little pat on the back from a doctor may be routine to him,   but means the world to us.  Sitting there in the nicu is a really serious and fragile enviounment.  I cant be my normal big loud self, but we are getting there.  Its nice to sit and share stories and laugh with the team because its feeling like we get to leave T-Rue with friends....really smart friends......really smart friends with really good technology........really smart friends with access to good technology and good mecidine...you get the point. 
We have the day off tomorrow so we can go spend some time with Tallulah.  Rest and Tallulah are the only things on the menu. 
I will go to sleep tonite with my baby in my hands and in my head and most importantly in my heart!!!!!!!!

R

Sucking her thumb

This one is going to be short and sweet.  We are very tired and crashing fast tonite.  she is doing well.  She started sucking her thumb tonite.  Its so cute.  She is an angel.  We will post more tomorrow.  R

She had a great day again

The heavens and powers above have really been kind to our lil T-Star!!!   She is doing really welll and continues to gain her lil weight  daily.  She is almost 1 lb 7 oz now.  Can you believe it.  I decided to post some pics i took today because I thought she looked exceptionally beautiful in tonights lighting.  I have to give a major buck of props to Nurse Wendy for accessorizing Tallulah with her pretty pink bow again.  She wears accessories well doesnt she.  Prayers work, prayers heal, prayers comfort...keep them coming please!!!      R

Pretty Pink Bow is Back

Retro Bow

Sleeping Beauty * starring Tallulah Rue as Beauty

Tallulahs Officially arrived.

This is a picture of Tallulahs mail that arrived yesterday in the mail.  It makes us sooooooooooo happy. 

She is official!!!!!!!

Another fantastic day

Tallulah had another great day.  Daddy and I along with my mother went to spend our evening visit with T and she was amazing as usual.  She was very responsive and very adorable.  We leave the hospital so happy its overwhelming.  We also saw her during our mid day visit and had lunch with her since she is being fed breast milk now!!!!!   Its a small amount, like a 5th of a teaspoon every 6 hours, but shes a eatin!

R

My pretty girl

We managed to get in our 2 visits today and work a full day....WHEEEEEEEW! Tallulah looks fantastic as you can see to the right-------------------------------------------------------->
She is getting stronger and stronger everyday! She gained a lil more weight today...YAY.
She is almost at 1 lb 7 oz. I cant wait until she reaches the weight that we can start to hold her. Daddy and I are really going to have to play rocks, papers, scissors at that point to decide whos turn it is.
Until tomorrow.......R

tiny-kini

This little lady is on a roll right now and Im liking it! She is continuing to gain lil bits of weight...which are adding up! She is really responding to us and we LOVE that! Today we got to redecorate her cubie. We put down a pretty pink floral blanket and put her in a pretty pink and white polka dot hat. She looks sooooooooo good. She wanted us to thank everyone reading this for their prayers. She is getting stronger and stronger. Keep those prayers coming in and soon she will be able to thank you all in person!
As soon as i took this picture I knew I was going to post it because i heart everything about it. I went back and forth with the toplessness of the photo though. I love nature but know how SCARY the net is......so Papi gave her a bikini....a one shoulder tiny-kini.....I love my Tallulah Rue!!!!!!!!! R

Tallulah has another good day!

We woke up extra early this morning to get enough dog time in the babies before we headed off to our favorite amusement park in the world....TallulahLand.  We got there and saw that she was looking really good and my heart sighed a bit.  She responded really well to us again.  Her eyes looking for us.  Her hands reaching.  Her feet stretching and pointing her toes.  My mom went with us this morning and it was wonderful. 
We were there for a bit before we had to hit the salon for a day of hair before we returned for our night-cap with T.
When we got there for the evening visit she was laying on her stomach.  They are trying give her surgery incision heal a bit so take the pressure off of it.  I have never seen her on her stomach.  I have never really seen the back of her head or her profile.  She is so beautiful and exotic.  I heart her big time.  At 8 it was touch time.  Which means changing her diaper and weighing her.  Also switching her pulse monitor from one foot to another.  While changing her we were all surprised to see a teeeeeny weeeny bit of poopie.  Now I know to most people that wouldnt be a reason to celebrate,  but for Tiny T its time to light firecrackers!!!  Such an excellent sign.  She also gained a lil more weight which is awesome.  All in all it was an excellent day.  2 visits to my love and I am a happy man.  I will get to spend a lot of time with her tomorrow since I am not working on clients tomorrow.  CANT WAIT!  Thanks for prayers and please keep them coming...its working guys, its working!                R

We just got to spend a couple of hours with our Tallulah and I must report that she is looking fantastic. She responded well to us and was very active. She has gained a little more weight which is very exciting! Her breathing is getting stronger and stronger and her surgery scar is healing well. THANK GOD!!! She looks around the room when we sing to her and its amazing to watch. Shes so little yet it seems like she gets it all. We stop talking to her and wait a minute and she starts to kick her legs and squeeze her fist and start wrinkeling her forehead. I LOVE IT!!! Daddy got to change her and take her temperature while i took pics. Dominique (T-Rue's primary nurse) says that T is almost ready to start getting fed milk. YAYAYAYAY. Then she can start gaining weight and then I can hold her in my arms. CRYING TEARS JUST THINKING ABOUT IT! I am not going to ever let her go once i get to hold her. Mark and I talk about it on the way home from the NICU. We just smile from ear to ear and imagine it. Her hair is starting to lighten up a bit. Her skin is starting to darken up a bit. She has a bronze glow right now. She looks like she just spent a long weekend in Hawaii. Thanks again to our wonderful kind donors blood. This little girl is getting tons of presents already as well. Our friends and clients are being incredible to us. Today she a lot of books for us to read to her. She also got some really cute outfits. She also got a furry bunny coat wrap that is lined in pink silk. So pretty! My lil star is going to look amazing. We are both working tomorrow making up for the days we had to reschedule to be at the hospital with her, but will have a chance to spend a couple of hours with her in the morning. I am already counting down the minutes until I get to see her again. I cant wait for all of you to meet her and see what an amazing presence she has. Until tomorrow....R

Guess who had a great nite!

Long but great day.

It has been a long and amazing day.  Any day that I can work a full day and still manage to squeeze in not one but two visits to my Tallulah is a great day for me.  She looked really really good today.  Her numbers are stable and she is off of her blood pressure medication.  She has gained another 10 ounces since surgery and Dominique (our primany nurse) told us that it was a good 10 ounces not just liquid.  No wonder she is looking so good.  She responded well to our visit and is in good squeezing fingers spirits.  Thanks again for your support and heres to a good nite for my T-Star! 
R

It has been a crazy day.  We left the hospital and Tallulah is looking great.  She is very sedated and still looks pretty and is posing.  Her skin looks real good,  her eyes look good and her numbers seem to be looking real good.  I pray and hope she continues on this "strong woman" road that she is on.  Daddy got to take her temperature tonite.  From here Tiny T is going to thrive! 

I prayed with my mother and Mark all morning in the "family room" in the NICU.  It seemed like it had been forever, actually 4 hours, and there was a knock knock on the door.  I guess my mother and myself had decided to take a nap and Mark was outside in the hall pacing himself into a hole.  It was our amazing surgeon telling me the words that i had been rehearsing in my head for hours.  He said "Tallulah's hair transplant went well,  she looks fantastic!".  We laughed and I knew she was alright.  He told us everything went on schedule and as planned.  WHEEEEEEEW!  I love when doctors can be great at what they do and remain great people too!  I am completely impressed with him and his team.  Im completely impressed with me and my team too.  We did great.  Me Mark and my mother that is.  We kept eachother laughing and positive.  None of us ever went to the ugly place.  Thank goodness.  The room has a couch in it and a tv and internet connection.  The couch pulls out to a bed and a small chair and table.  Its quite cozy.  Its in the NICU and right next to the surgery room.  We drank coffee in there and ate.  We watched all of the videos and photos we of Tallulah.  We also took a nap.  I forgot what we were watching on television, but the next thing i know knock, knock.
After 30 minutes, they let us go in and see her.  She looked as good as she did before she went in.  Im so happy with her!  They only let 2 of us in there at a time so Mark and I went in, then mom and I went in.  We celebrated bedside with her and then went down to the chapel to do some thanking. 
We came home to let the dogs out for a bit and to eat a real meal and then it was off back to Tallulahland. 


I am thankful to have so many people praying and thinking about our lil T-Star!  She is soooooooo lucky and soooooooo loved! 

Thanks!   R

YAYAYAYAY

Praise the heavens, praise the heavens, Tiny but Mighty made it through surgery!  The surgeon says all went well and everything looks good!!!!  Praise praise praise the lord!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

It has been a very interesting day.  Tallulah looks very good and is responding really well.  As with most premature babies, her heart is having a problem.  PDA to be exact.  The doctors are performing surgery on her tomorrow afternoon.  He sat down with me and Mark tonite and explained it all really well.  Its a common procedure done on babies this small.  T-star is on the smaller side, so we do need your prayer.  We will be spending the morning with her until 11 and then they will take her in for the 30 minute procedure.  Well he said it takes them about 30 minutes to prep her and the room and stuff and then 30 minute procedure.  I will be praying and meditating and crotcheting and anything else to keep me in the good place!  I hope all of you can join me in a prayer around that time to that we can get her through this as smoothly as possible!  I will keep you updated though here sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo....Heres to Tallulah!!!!!!

Tueday Dec. 1

I got to spend 2 hours in the middle of my work day with my precious angel and then 2 hours at nite after work.  It was the absolute best part of my day.  I find myself having to wait for her to go to sleep for me to leave her.  I CANT leave her when her eyes are open and looking at me.  I JUST CANT!  She had another blood transfusion today (thanks again to my amazing donors).  Her skin looks so pretty after a transfusion.  I was there today for a suctioning.  I noramlly dont like watching them do this to her,  but her numbers stay so good when we are there that we just talk her right though it.  She is very independant and doesnt like to be touched too much,  except from us.  Our nurses tell us that she is really reacting to our visits.  They notice a change when we leave.  I dont know if they just say that to make us feel good about the time we spend there,  but it works!  Tomorrow we are meeting with her Doctor to see what we are looking at for the next week as far as hurdles, milestones and expectations (not from T but from eachother).  I feel like such a grown-up.  I am going to wrap it there tonite because I am really tired today.  I hope and pray that my angel has a SUPER-DUPER-WUPER-FLUPER fantastic nite!!!!!!!!!!!!!  and life!!!!!!!!!!!!!!