last few day...

Ok.  Where do I start.  Let me start by saying that Tallulahs surgery went well.  Aside from a few puffy eyes she is doing fantastic.  Her surgery was a laser eye surgery.  The doctor that did the surgery, Dr. Lee, was a very nice man.  He gave us an amazing consultation.  It was very thorough including a slide show and a birds eye view of an actual eye ball from the inside out.  I just wish I had had the consultation before I walked in to see Tallulah for my nightly visit.  When we walked in there were several nurses around Tallulah which made me worry instantly.  One of them looked at us and smiled and said "we're just prepping her and we're about to intubate her,  I don't know if you'll want to watch".  At which point we walked right out of the room wondering what they were prepping her for.  As far as we knew the eye doctor was in there earlier in the day while we were there and he did an exam on her.  He said he saw some things that were concerning him and that he would call one of his colleagues to see what course of action he should take.  He left and we were obviously scared and my creative mind started wondering what he meant.  What had he seen that was "concerning" him.  Before I could get too into my head and what it all meant the eye doctor was back.  He said that he colleague was in town and would be able to see Tallulah today.  He recommended that T be sedated for the exam since they use these medieval Marilyn Manson horror movie looking metal clips that hold eyes open.  When we walked into the room I just assumed they were sedating her for the exam with this colleague.  As we waited in the lobby for one of the nurses to tell us they were done putting the tube in, one of our Team Tallulah members Wendy came over to wish us and Tallulah good luck and to tell us that she was in good hands.  She must have seen the look of confusion on my face because she began speaking again and said Dr. Lee....hes a great surgeon.  I was like WHAT?  She asked if he had met with us yet and we both shook our heads and she looked like she felt like CRAP!  She went in and told the nurses with T that we weren't aware of the surgery about to begin and guess who walks in...Dr. Lee.  They tell him we are out there and have no clue of whats going on and he comes out to us.  He introduced himself to us and said "you must be Mr and Mrs Tallulahs parents?".  I had to laugh.   Even in this serious, scary, tense, emotional state that I am in...I had to laugh.  He asked us to follow him into the conference room to talk and he lead the way.  As we walked behind him me and Daddy were laughing and cracking up because he couldn't see our faces as we had surgery masks on.  So he assumed with my long hair that I was the Mrs.  How funny!  I've been called worse so why correct him.  Hes about to perform surgery on my tiny precious babys' eyes do you think I'm going to piss him off because he called me a Mrs...Hell-to-tha-No!  We just followed and laughed.  Once we got into the conference room we took our masks off and I studied the confused look on his face...especially since I hadn't shaved in 2 days.  My stubble is on full glory and he couldn't keep his eyes off of it.  Fast forward to his amazing consultation and a few slashes of our signatures on a few lines and he was off to perform the surgery.  We found ourselves in a familiar position again.  The family room that they put you in while your child is in surgery.  Thank goodness everything went well. 

Tonight we walk into the hospital with our normal happy eagerness to get to Tallulah.  As we walk into the nursery one bed is missing.  Tallulahs bed.  Of course my stomach sinks.  We look at all of the nurses, night shift nurses just getting on shift, and they all have blank looks on their faces.  I'm like,  HELLO...WHERES MY DAUGHTER!!!   One of them calmly sends us back to the front desk to find out where shes been moved to.  We go back to the front and they tell us she had been moved into room 276.  Sigh.  We go into room 276 and peek around looking for some sign of Tallulah.  Of course the pink blanket with Tallulah Rue Adkins-Bonilla embroidered on it is really what I'm looking for.  No sign of it.  None.  We ask a nurse for our baby and again... blank faces.  I'm starting to feel like I'm in a freakin Twilight Zone episode until one nurse calmly recommends we go to the front desk and ask where shes been moved to.  We go back out there and are told OOOppps.  Shes graduated.  Shes in 280 now.  Sigh!.  280 is a much less critical room than the previous 2 rooms shes been in.  Its a smaller room with less babies.  Its cute.  Tallulah is the new kid at school again but this time its a cozy room with dim lighting and we heart dim lighting.  T-Rue is such a trooper.  I thought I had seen strength before but this tiny little girl is re-defining the word for me.  She is such a rock star.  Daddy held her tonight for one full hour.  One uninterrupted hour of solid sleeping.  She loves being held.  She just relaxes and gets into a breathing groove with you.  Its an amazing feeling.  It has totally cured me of my constant dreams of being pregnant.  I played the "follow the finger" game with her to check her vision.  She totally followed my finger in all directions.  That made my heart happy.  It made Daddy's heart happy too because I could see his smile through his mask. 
Ok.   We are all caught up.  Good night and say a little prayer for my T tonight please.  Thanks...Tallulahs Papi...R