One long day...

T rested well.  She wasn't her normal self, but who is after being cut open.  She rested well.  Ate a little bit.  Cried a lot.  Slept a little.  Looks AMAZING!  She woke up this morning smiling and ready to eat.  She is still very sore and has to be handled with care, but whats new.  She ate a full meal this morning and has been resting comfortable ever since.  She had 2 hernias repaired yesterday.  A left one and an umbilical one.  She didn't have one on the right side.   It was amazing going into recovery to see her after surgery.  It was one of the first times that she made me feel like her father.  She was in the arms of a nurse when I walked up and she opened her eyes real REAL big as if she recognized me.  Her eyes welled up with tears and she screamed.  My eyes got all watery and I got emotional but decided to be strong for her and didn't show it.  When I grabbed her in my arms I could feel her shallow breathing.  I could feel how inhaling hurt her.  She wasn't crying as much as sobbing.  Little bursts of sounds with lots of groaning and moaning.  I held her to me as tight as I could and prayed to take this pain away from her.  I prayed I would feel it so that she wouldn't.  The feeling of my sobbing baby in my arms is almost too much for me to handle.  I have lived a pretty interesting and testing life.  I have experienced many levels of pain, emotionally and physically.  NOTHING has prepared me for my baby crying in my arms in pain.   NOTHING!  I held her and my tears started.  I wiped them before they hit her, but secretly I let a few of them hit her and prayed that they would ease her pain.  I sang our little song to her and she would look up at me and try to be happy and then the pain would start and her face would change and the sobbing would start.  I tried to keep conversation with the nurses and staff, but my broken heart couldn't take it.  After a few minutes of questions and answers, they took us to a private room.  Me and Daddy and my mother comforted her and cried for her and laughed for her and prayed for her!  She had and I.V. in one arm.  It brought back too many recent memories of her in the NICU.  She is so active and strong that she had scratched herself in the face with the I.V.  This girl really doesn't like her arms wrapped up.  She DEMANDS that her arms remain free and clear.  No blanket over them.  We were in a room with her for about 1 hour and then the word came that Miss T was ready and stable to go home.  As excited as I was, part of me worried about the "what-ifs" if we brought her home.  Before my mind could think this through clearly, my heart was walking out of the door with my Rue in my arms, Daddy by my side and recovery on our minds.  If you think the slowest drive you will ever take in your life is bringing your child home from the hospital originally...try driving home from fresh surgery.  A 10 minute drive home from the hospital turned into a 45 minute cruise over pot holes and cracks in the street.  Once we got home we just propped her on her pillows and stared at her for hours.  She has the cutest habit of smiling while she is sleeping.  I never want to miss one of the sleepy-head-smiles, so I watch her non stop.  When it came time for bed, I couldn't put her in her bassinet.  I wanted her next to us.  I put her in her changing pad that hugs her and put her in the bed in between  us and there she was....for the night.  Ok.  The positions I had to put myself in to watch her were something else.  My arms hurt, my body aches, my head is sore...but my angel slept with me.  Waking up to her in my face breathing at me is HEAVEN.  
I am going to spend today nursing her and tending to her every whim.  Thanks for you positive thoughts and prayers....she is getting them.  That's all for now...Talk to you later...R